It's ok.....

"I think I'm dying."
"You're not dying."
"Are you sure, because really I could be?"
"I'm sure."
"But what if I have pneumonia and I'm killing the baby??"
"How would you have pneumonia?"
"Well, the other night when we ran humidifier it got pretty cold in our room AND when I woke up it was raining from the ceiling on my face from all the water, I could have gotten it then."
"It was still over 65 degrees in our room, you don't have pneumonia."
"I could have squished the baby from all my coughing. What if I squished her (gender still unkown) and I'm feeling sick because my body's trying to tell me something is wrong???"
"You didn't squish 'her'."
"I could ha.."
"No, you didn't."
"Well, when I spoke with the doctors office this week they told me that if I had a fever combined with the body aches and cough that I should go to Instant Care, do you think I have a fever?"
"Let's See".........."No, you don't have a fever. Do you think you need to go to Instant Care?"
Sigh.."I don't know... I mean.... I'm really achy and nothing is helping, but if I don't have a fever probably not. But you're the logical one right now so you tell me..."
"Baby, you're fine. I'm sorry you don't feel good but it's just a cold. You'll feel better in the morning."

And damn it all, I did. I never thought it would be so nice to be so wrong.

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers

A peck of pickled pepper Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where the peck of pickled Peppers Peter Piper Picked?

In Me! That's where.

Yup it's true, there a little peck of a pepper currently growing inside of me right now. I feel a bit like an incubator right now, waiting and hoping everyday for the little one to grow just a little bit bigger and for the weeks to go just a little bit faster. Even looking forward to my stomach starting to get a little to big. If it weren't for the sudden laughing and crying fits that I've been having, oh and the non-stop feeling that my body is no longer my body but instead an alien form that is sick all the time that I can't quite control, it wouldn't seem like this whole thing was real.

But then, THEN, I have another doctors appointment. I get to see that little heart, you know the one that is inside of my body but that isn't mine, pounding away like a racing stallion and I see those little arms and legs moving around like a miniature spaz version of me dancing and I know that all of this is very very real.

I, Brooke Lyndsey Heym, am going to be a mother. A mother in the sense that I haven't yet been. I have loved my nieces and nephews, adored my self-proclaimed God-Children, because I'm brash enough to make that proclamation, and been the best pet-mom that I could possibly be. I have loved the role that I've been blessed to have in Gabe's life and cherish my time with him. Now I get to take that one step further. In October I get to bring into this world the beautiful creation of the love that my sweet Seth and I have made, the sibling to Gabe, my little pickled pepper peck.

Here's to you. The you person you. Whoever you will be.